My liver just broke up with me...
Duck Duck Cougar?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
my liver is dry heaving
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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