listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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