I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize