pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
wow bdsm is so cute
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize