I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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