omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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