Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize