i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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