There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize