Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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