I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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