just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
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Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
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And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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