whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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