So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize