my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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