I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
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My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
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I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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