i will never coherently bang her
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize