Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize