So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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