no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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