There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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