hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize