Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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