So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
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He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
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I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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