She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
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no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
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It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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