HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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