I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize