we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize