Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I feel like a drive thru vagina
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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