i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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