I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize