Nicole vs. Life
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize