I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The Olympian is in my bed
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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