I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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