Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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