when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize