They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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