OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She bit a glass in half.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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