I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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