i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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