grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize