people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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