i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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