The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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