Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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