Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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