I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
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The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
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I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
where are my eyebrows?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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