i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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