I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize