That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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